The Hope
We are
trapped by an unrealistic image of what it means to be ourselves. In this
reality, where we have rules not to have bad breath, disheveled hair, drive a
car with dents and faded paint…or worse, show vulnerability. Within these rules, we find it increasingly difficult to find ourselves, know ourselves and be ourselves.
Who are we
beyond these advertised versions of ourselves? We are deep feeling, deeply
creative, life experiencing, imperfectly amazing beings capable of achieving
great things and showing boundless compassion.
However, no matter how much deodorant we wear, or extensive our wardrobe is, we all will have to suffer the fate at some time or another of having to be our human selves.
Yes, we will
have bad breath. We will forget to wear our deodorant. We
will cry at least a time or two or twenty... We will experience painful
loss, and moments when we feel unglued and lost no matter how hard we try to
be perfect with a fabulous smile. Those unattainable images are the root causes of a multitude of ills including anxiety and depression.
Deconstructing the Image
Buying something you want and will enjoy isn't the problem. The problem is expecting the image associated with the product or service. It can leave us feeling empty and dissatisfied. This is where we run into trouble as a culture because we begin to pull further away from who we really
are while trying to fill that void with who we are not. These images are false constructs
of what it is to be human. They keep us off balance, feeling insecure. Most of all, they separate us from our ourselves.
Who are we apart from our profile picture and latest phone? Below, I have put together five
categories that people generally fall into. We are comprised of different
proportions of each quality with certain descriptors standing out more strongly
as dominant. See which ones ring true for you and share your results.
The Packager
The packager
has the gift of putting order to chaos. They take disorganized situations and
put them into nice, neatly organized, tidy packages that make sense. The world
needs packagers. Without them, we would lack structure and useful rules that
guide us through our daily tasks.
The downfall
is that packagers are so intent on putting their environment into packages,
they include people in those packages as well. Not every person fits neatly
into the packager’s image of the tidy person they want them to be. They additionally
tend to not appreciate the value of anyone who operates under a different
paradigm especially someone who is comfortable operating within grey areas as their character
doesn’t require tidy little boxes in order to function. Also, not all
situations need to be pre-packaged. Packagers can over-organize to the point of
interfering with natural flow and spontaneity.
The Relator
Relators
focus on creating and maintaining relationships. They are excellent at
developing meaningful rapport. They positively influence and maintain group dynamics
and utilize their interpersonal strengths to accomplish life’s tasks. You will
often see relators as counselors, educators, HR professionals, interviewers and
trainers – but you can find them anywhere you can find people.
Relators are
good at seeing others as individuals and noticing their strengths. They build
rapport easily and earn people’s trust due to their insight into human nature.
They are good at creating group dynamics and can spot what needs to be adjusted
to make any group flow more smoothly by utilizing individual strengths and
talents to enhance the whole. Quality of relationships is what matters most to
the relator.
Relators
often believe because they value relationships above all else, so does the rest
of the world. They get hurt and disappointed more easily than other types because they have
increased sensitivity to subtle interactions, and awareness when they are out
of sync. They can additionally feel frustrated when people aren’t getting along
or cooperating despite their best efforts to create a positive environment.
Last, since the relator is more focused on the individual, they have to stretch
to conceptualize the concept of team over the individual if required.
The Originator
Originators
are the creators. They think and make amazing things. They are outstanding idea
people. They conceptualize well and create works of art, engineering
masterpieces, page-turning stories and musical novelties.
Originators
are often spatially oriented and have a good eye or ear for connecting one
piece to the next. They will shock us, amaze us and keep us advancing structurally,
and creatively. Originators are innovative and are the impetus for change. Originators
create overtly in ways that enliven and engage others. They also motivate and
inspire our feelings and our senses.
Because
originators are excellent idea people, they often have difficulty following
their ideas through to fruition. They may also prefer to remain in the world of
ideas and have difficulty manifesting them into reality. Unless an originator
has a bit of packager in them, they are challenged by rules, structures and
details that put limits on their ability to create.
The Orchestrator
An orchestrator ranges from a parent, a teacher to a corporate
CEO. Strong orchestrators are able see how all the parts of the whole fit and
work best together.
Orchestrators
have insight into conducting a symphony of characteristics that manifest into a
working whole. We need these insightful and gifted leaders to pull together disparate
pieces and characteristics into a manageable whole.
Orchestrators
can lose sight of the individual needs in order to create a unified whole.
Individual needs may fall by the wayside while the orchestrator is assembling a
working team. They have a difficult time comprehending a team as comprised of
individuals and individual parts. Orchestrators also get frustrated when
individual parts aren’t functioning the way they envisioned.
The Processor
Processors
are the people working in the wings to manage the details. Their role is to make everything operate smoothly from start to finish. Because
they work to maintain the nitty gritty details in every domestic or work
situation, they aren’t generally interested in the limelight.
Processors
are the people we turn to get the daily tasks done so life moves forward with
the minimal number of monkey wrenches as possible. Processors express their
love and dedication by managing the mundane tasks. They are responsible,
reliable and conscientious.
Processors
are challenged by grander expressions of their love and dedication. People may
mistakenly think they are cold and unfeeling. Since they operate from the
sidelines, they can get overlooked. Processors can feel they are taken for
granted as a result. Processors tend to be very patient. However, they may on occasion get angry feeling their efforts aren’t appreciated.
Recognizing Yourself
As you read
through each descriptor, you may have found one or two that resonated most
strongly with who see yourself as. You probably found an ex in there, and better
understood why they are now your ex. Did you find family members, bosses,
colleagues? Share this with them not to antagonize them or say. “See. This is
why we don’t get along”… Use it to enlighten them. Who knows. You may be able to
strategize ways of maximizing one another’s strengths.
Ideally, we
as family, work and societal structures should have a balance of each of these qualities to operate optimally. Of
course, we naturally believe our type is the best. However, I would like you to
keep the perspective that awareness of all the types will deepen your understanding into other points of view as well as how to best
remedy the pitfalls and maximize the pluses of interacting with those unlike yourself.
Uniquely You
I hope this
has helped you come closer to knowing and celebrating your uniqueness and that of others. You
are Imperfectly Perfectly You.
No comments:
Post a Comment